How About a Little Jack on the Rocks?

How About a Little Jack on the Rocks?

In the interest of appearing not totally lazy...I hit up a Doppelganger with the initials JB to shoot a little life into this here area.  I've been on Madden Oh-14 business...and will be heading back to parts unknown next week...so the blog is a slipping a bit on my end.  I've been watching...just not getting the time to give due justice to the splendid eye torture you produce.  But, y'all know what's happening so I'm going to let you talk for a while.  I can't wait to talk about what's happening...shouldn't be too long...then I'll officially be sidestepping your entreaties...officially.

Take it Away...

What's up Ea Skate Nation?   Jack Barclay here, international ivory smuggler and overblunt specialist since 2007.  Cuz passed the magical blog pants to me to this week and I'm here to put a little D.P. in your day.  I plan on sprinkling a little history lesson in with the fake skate trickery.   (Cuz the editor's note: Jack starting waxing on about rumours and speculation surrounding Madden Oh-14.  I edited for job security's sake.  Carry on)

First things first . . . about two weeks ago, I managed to heckle Cuz into skating the Handy Gap. (thanks Clay)  The truth is, he handled it like a pro.  Only  6 tricks have gone down at this gap . . .Bullet-bs kf, Mr. Barclay - bs heelflip & sw kf, Eflixx - fs kf, Skatehead - sw front 3, and Cuz with a bs 180 tailgrab.  And there's a reason for it, it's easily one of the rawest gaps in the game.  If you get a trick on it, call home to your mommy and let her know "big boy's" got some new man hair sprouting out between his bitch tits.  It's pretty much Skate 2's El Torro.  Here's the footy. http://www.wegame.com/watch/Cuz_Wrecks_the_Handy_Gap_Let_The_Meat_Rain_Down/

Now for the real meat.   195war dropped hard on Labor Day and it had heads scratching their fuzzy dice.  Psychonaut  had a 3 minute part filled with only the best bangers, which should honestly be watched twice in slo-mo.  Then Skatehead put his brand of stylish tech all over everything in sight, truly earning his spot on 54 with a vengeance.  Anchors, jesus, Anchors, let's just say I have a huge man crush on Anchors right now.  He found speed in places where speed seems impossible, and dropped obscure hammers in spots across the globe.  Watch this 3 times while headbanging with a beer in each hand and wait for nirvana to emerge from your swirling hangover.  I'll be cribbing from this part for the next 2 months.  Mr. Blue made an appearance that you'll have to see to believe, making him an official part of skate mythology . . . "and then Mr. Blue emerged from the heavens on a bed of eagle feathers and dirty hurricane sugar plum faeries."  And then there was Demzilla . . .  coming in with so many tricks packed into the smallest amount of space known to man.  This part if a flurry of tricks in spots that he created by hand, dragging bits and pieces into dark alleys in order to get single tricks whose 3 or 4 seconds actually span days of planning, frustration, and dedication.  You can't skate Demz' spots, because you don't know how to make them, and even if you did, you don't have the patience to recreate them.  I suggest you take an afternoon and watch 195War 4 times in a row.  It's worth it.

And now for a history lesson http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cp7iGFw78aY.  Watch carefully children, the most styled hardflip of all time lurks within.

Alright, sleeper pick of the month right here, Horsehead, your last two solos lit the forums on fire and filled my laptop with hot black smoke, and people need to know.  http://www.wegame.com/watch/PyschoHo...tHeadOverNaut/ & http://www.wegame.com/watch/Three_Headed_Horse/

skHate88  (D.P. represent!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZ1e1oeOc9g it's a crying shame this doesn't have 5,000 views, put your bifocals on and take a peep at one of the freshest rippers in the game.  We all love you mate.

History!  Arto Saari changed skateboarding forever with this part.  Super Clean Tech Gnar mind blowing crap your pants goodness that is still better than almost ever part that's dropped in the last 10 years, bite it.  Arto is the best of all time, there, I said it.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK5ZSuL_dQg

Random - check out the Italian Spiderman, if this doesn't make you laugh then you might not be human. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvNLlwkwP64

More history . . .ladies and gentlemans . . . . I present you with the greatest pool ripper of all time, Salba, a magician who rips as hard today as he did when Wheels of Fire dropped in . . . .well, before you were born.  Cuz, this is for you baby, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k72Vhx0YQHg

Alright, what's hot in fake skate?

Fakie hardflips are the new black, make sure you tweak it.

Filming no longer has rules . . . let me just say that again . . . . Filming NO Longer has any rules.  If you want to Speilburg it up, just do it and stop crying into your goddamn bowl of fruity pebbles.  3 front, 3 back, and go wherever you please in the middle, or, do that business in reverse.  Just make sure you are NOT putting the slo-mo on a tweaked kf down a 3 set, cuz that business is like rolling up a half bottle of Dilantin in a box of Depends-brand-man-underwear and rubbing shuffleboard sweat all over it.

Original gaps,  find em, rip em, and show em off, that gets us excited, sitting at work, making money.  If you need inspiration, check out Stevland's youtube page. http://www.youtube.com/user/StevlandJudkins Stevlando has putting out vids filled to the brim with original gaps since day one.  Take notes, you're observing a master.

Wallrides,(please baby Jesus, let the wallride animations in Skate 3 be perfect)  figure it out, they can be done, and done well, it just takes time and patience, speed and the right angle.

Alright, what else,  Oh yeah . . . . omfsa  is hot.  If you don't already know, you never will.  Say goodnight children, daddy's going out to get a pack of smokes and a tallboy, and he ain't coming back.

Thanks, Jack!!!!!

Heckle sesh this week then I'm bouncing for a week or so...

Keep Rolling,

Cuz